LagLife: 5 Types of People You Meet in Danfo Buses (1)

I know I tell too much Lagos stories. I just can’t have enough of the city, there are countless number of stories to tell. Recently I began taking pictures too, but it’s been on hold for a while because I got scared that someone would smash my phone pretty soon.

If you’re a regular customer of Danfo buses, you should be able to relate with these experiences. Even if you aren’t, you have to be familiar with this because you reside in Lagos.

From that awful feeling of a sweaty arm touching yours, making it look like you’re actually the one sweating, to the sleepy head hitting your shoulder, and the one screaming at the top of his voice for N50 change, those buses carry a mix of characters. The gentle, the angry, the born again and even the mentally derailed.

Here’s a list of 5 kind of people you’ll find in Lagos buses:

The Troublemakers

This group of people look for every opportunity to pick a fight. Maybe on boarding the bus, they never had the intention of being trouble makers, but you as their seatmate keep provoking them. Yes you!

If the conductor tries wasting time before he releases their change, then world war 3 begins right there in the bus. If the driver fails to heed to their warning of driving carefully, they complain and hurl curses at him till they alight.

So, on Saturday I was sitting behind a woman who happens to be the inspiration behind this article. She just couldn’t stop complaining about everything. “Madam adjust your hand, it’s affecting us at the back”. “Bros your elbow is touching me, position it well; this is the last time I’ll tell you”. “Oga, you can’t sit like that, please seat squarely”.

And I kept wondering if she didn’t have a mental issue. You know quite well that this is a commercial bus, and your body cannot escape being brushed by an elbow, a hand, a leg, and even a head. If she knows, she can’t cope with all the trouble that comes with boarding a Danfo bus, I’ll suggest she buys a car or sit at home.

My advice: When you get into a Danfo bus, pretend like everyone in the bus is invisible. Don’t look sideways. Don’t talk to anybody. Pay your fare and alight when it’s time. You never know if a trouble maker is sitting by you and waiting for the next person that  would provoke him into action.

The Arguers

I have no idea how the discussions that lead to these arguments start, but the only thing I notice is two or three people  start arguing over a particular topic. This is more common with the men. From football to politics, to Nigeria, to government and even about a car that just drove past.

Within these arguers, you’ll find those who know nothing about the topic, but choose to join in and argue blindly, thereby disturbing others who have made a decision to make their stay in the bus a peaceful and quiet one.

My advice: Don’t start what you can’t finish! If you’re one of those who cannot stay quietly in the bus, decide careful on what discussion you want to join in, who you want to begin a discussion with and what topic will less likely lead to an argument. Keep in mind that some argument can lead to a fight – when it’s getting hotter, think of ways to pull out of the heat.

The Sleepers

At any time of the day, when you get into a Danfo bus, you’ll meet at least one person who falls into this category. For very early in the morning, between 5am – 7am, I understand anyone who dozes off. Maybe they didn’t get to sleep early, and still had to wake up very early to get to work. But for those who use their heads to disturb people’s shoulders at 12pm or 6pm, it’s a no-no for me.

But really, I’m not against dozing off once in a while, but these group of people should do it with swag. Maybe place their head on the seat in front of them, or just close their eyes and sleep without moving their heads left and right. They should also know when it’s time to chase away that sleep; the moment when you realize that the man by your right or left is no longer finding it funny.

My advice: If you’re one of the sleepers, please learn to do it with swag, not everyone would take that shit from you. If you’re beside a sleeper and you get the first head-hit on your shoulder, make your caution a loud one, maybe a big knock on the head, so the person knows you’re not in for that.

Watchout for part 2!!!

Do you patronize Danfo Buses? Share with us in the comment box, other categories of people you get to meet on a daily basis.


Do you have an interesting Lagos story or experience that you’ll like to share? You can send it in as a guest post to xtyzeb@gmail.com OR christie@xtizdiary.com.

Comments

  1. Paul Mgbudomobi

    Wonderful post Christie. A new visitor to the city will have a full page diary to write about Lagos. But for us Lagosians these are the things that make Lagos thick, especially the Danfo bus.
    If you’re yet to experience the Danfo Wahala, just know you’re missing something. Eko for show!

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